Daidokoro Adventures: Bread

Other than the occasional banana bread, I've never made bread. But I saw a mini bread maker (about half the size of a normal bread maker, roughly the size of a toaster oven) in a secondhand store, and the idea kept rattling around in my head.

On the "Get it, Get it Now!" side, it was a great deal and when I looked it up on Amazon, it has overwhelmingly 4 and 5-star reviews. It makes something like 10 different kinds of bread (including pizza dough!), plus mochi and jam.

On the other hand, nothing related to it exists in English. The menu options are in Japanese, the manual is in Japanese, and the recipes included are in Japanese. If you type "Siroca SHB-212" into a search engine*, you will only get Japanese results.
*Mentioning the make and model isn't meant to be so much an advertisement as help to any other English speakers out there that have the same problem I did.

In spite of reading a very limited amount of Japanese, the lure of fresh-baked bread was too strong to resist.

How could I say no to this kind of possibility?
(Picture from here.)

As far as appliances go, it's kind of cute.

Okay, time to see if I can figure out enough of the manual to make it work. 

I did manage to translate the table of contents, that's a start. It took at least an hour and heavy use of my Japanese/English dictionary app and Google Translate, but it got done.

Crooked assisted. He is part of the reason it took so long.

I call this "being helpful like a Crooked."

I'm not spending the rest of my weekend slogging through the rest of it. Let's see how much I can figure out without looking up each kanji I don't know.

Okay, parts of the machine: display menu, lid, window, bread case, where the blade/mixer goes, options on the front...not so bad. I can read some of the menu settings and I can tell which button goes to which area of the display panel.

Things I'll need...I don't have a digital scale, but I have the Internet.

Then there's some sort of flow chart to illustrate how bread baking works. I don't really get it, but...wait a second. Are those bread illustrations smiling?

Yes, yes they are. This manual includes adorable-ness!

Wet ingredients (or at least water), then dry ingredients. Then yeast on top. To remove the pan, twist before pulling out.

Hooray for pictures!

Press the menu button to choose the setting. I'm just going for #1, plain old regular bread. Gotta start off easy, considering I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm doing it in a language I don't speak or read very well.

The top settings are for 1 loaf, a 1.5-loaf-sized loaf, or a double-sized loaf. Again, just going with one, since this is the trial run.

The bottom settings are for crust (light, medium, or crispy), I left it at the default medium.

When ready, press Start! Got it.

And then a block of text happens. I'm not sure what this is about and I hope my lack of motivation to translate it doesn't come back to bite me later.

Um...then...press stop? I'll have to come back to this.
(Edit: the headline says to press the Stop button for 2 seconds when the buzzer indicates it's ready.)

To remove bread, take out the case with hand protection and shake it until it comes out. Cool on a cooking rack, carefully take the blade out, too. And some warning about not hurting myself, presumably.

Unplug when done. Easy enough.

Directions read, let's do this thing! All right, manual-I-can-barely read, give me a recipe for a single loaf size, please!

Right, they measure dry ingredients in grams. Dangit.

The recipe translates to:
250g flour (2 cups)
180mL water
15g butter (just over a tablespoon)
18g sugar (One and four-fifths of a tablespoon? That seems like a strange amount.)
6g skim milk (The parenthetical note indicates 2 teaspoons. Why that isn't the main measurement, I have no idea.)
4g salt (Four fifths of a teaspoon)
2.7g dry yeast (1 weak teaspoon? I'm not sure what that means.)

There are more specific directions, presumably about mixing, but I can't read them. So wet ingredients first then dry.

Ready, set, go!

Water, milk, butter. Not so impressive.

Flour, salt, sugar, yeast. Still not that impressive.

Okay, here goes nothing.

Note the distinct lack of blowing up. That's a good sign!

After a couple minutes, it started to look like dough.

Sometimes it mixed with enthusiasm.

Basically, I put flour, water, butter, salt, sugar, and yeast into a box and pressed a button. Making real bread can't actually be that easy, can it?

3 hours, 50 minutes to go:

3 hours, 20 minutes to go:

 Two hours, it's starting to look like real bread:

An hour and a half, I'm a little concerned:

Half an hour left, it still looks like dough, but it has the right shape:

Done! And it looks pretty good!

It looks really good! Now, does it taste as good as it looks? I'm a little afraid it will taste like baking soda or something (not that there is any baking soda in it).

Surprisingly enough, it tastes like it should. Apparently making bread is just as easy as putting a few basic ingredients together and pressing a button.

 

(Pardon the smeared makeup and pajamas, I didn't think far enough ahead to put on real clothes or fix my makeup.)

New, previously unconsidered problem: it was so good we ate the whole thing. And then we started a new loaf of rosemary bread. #FirstWorldProblems

(Japanese) Language is Fascinating

This is a series of mostly unconnected thoughts about language.

Thought #1: Idioms
Learning Japanese and having Japanese friends is really bringing English sayings to my attention. I hadn't realized how often we use idioms, or how often those idioms don't seem to make any sense. Like, why do we call the lower back "the small of the back"? Why is something we've done often "old hat"? What makes someone a "saucy minx" and why does no one say that anymore? I think we should bring it back. You know you want to say it, you saucy minx, you.


Thought #2: I bet you didn't know this
"Ain't" comes from "am I not?". True story.


Thought #3: Things
The word for "thing" is mono (pronounced moh-noh).
It can't be applied to everything, but
tabe is eat,
nomi is drink,  
kai is buy, and
ki is wear.
So it makes sense that
tabemono is food (eat-thing),  
nomimono is drink (drink-thing),  
kaimono is shopping (buy-thing), and
a kimono is literally a thing to wear. That's the one that surprised me, it seems like too simple a translation for a piece of clothing that is so elegant.


Thought #4: Another word that makes sense
Te = hand
Kubi = neck 
Tekubi = wrist (It's the neck of your hand!)



Thought #5: Even the germs are more efficient here
In the parts of the US I'm familiar with, there is the Five Second Rule. You know, when you drop something particularly delicious and not at all messy and you would be very sad if you had to throw it away, so you shout, "Five second rule!" and brush it off and pretend it never got dropped.

In Japan, it's a 3-second rule.
It's called the sanbyo ruuru.
(Pronounced like sahn-byoh-roo-roo, the first roo is held longer than the second.)
San is 3,
byo is "seconds," and
ru-ru is how you would say "rule" if your language didn't distinguish between L and R sounds and all your letters but one ended in a vowel sound.



Thought #6: Describing people
If you had to describe your best friend in a Western country, what would you mention first? Probably hair color, eye color, skin tone, and maybe body build. Japanese people don't use those characteristics because almost everyone has black hair, brown eyes, and a similar skin tone and body build. So they often use size of facial features (large eyes, small nose, wide forehead, etc.), length of hair, and height.

Greasers and Pride

One beautiful Sunday, I decided to go to Tokyo Rainbow Pride in Yoyogi Park. My first attempt at finding it brought me to the wrong entrance. But not all is lost!

I found the Tokyo Rockabilly Club. Every Sunday they meet here with their boombox and dance. They only seem to know about six moves, but they do them endlessly and with enthusiasm.




My second attempt to find TRP was successful. It had a street festival vibe with a handful of booths and a slew of rainbows. Some booths were for organizations, some sold food, one offered face painting, one with colorful braids. There was also a stage, but it was between events, so the stage was occupied by a DJ. (S)he was fabulous, with full drag makeup, long wig, flowing dress, and stiletto heels. As a bonus, (s)he was making innovative combinations of songs, like a pop song with Rocky Horror Picture Show and "No Scrubs" with the classic Mario soundtrack.

I thought I was in time for the parade, but I managed to catch the end instead. Most of the participants were regular people holding flags and signs.

On the other hand, there were some photo-worthy outrageous fantastic costumes.

The facial hair is a nice touch.

I JUST realized they're wearing clothing from around the world!
England, China, Korea (or Vietnam?), [girl getting souvenir photo], India, and...the US?
Not sure about the yellow dress.

I feel like there's a story behind these outfits, but I don't know what it is.

I'm not going to make the joke. It's too obvious.

Later that night I met up with some friends to go to Gay Night (specifically for gay men) at a club called ageHa. It's the kind of place that requires an all-night adventure. Partly because it doesn't open until 10pm, and partly because of the location. It takes an hour to get there from where I live, and it appears for all the world to be (relative to Tokyo) in the middle of nowhere. On the ten-minute walk between the station and the club, the only memorable feature of the landscape is a bridge. No tall buildings, no neon lights, no loud noises, and only one conbini (convenience store).

ageHa is not just one building, it's a complex. I'm told it used to be a bunch of warehouses. Now it's almost a campus, with lockers for personal belongings, a lounge area, several bar areas, a main dance floor with air-saturating fog machines, a pool (that nobody is allowed to actually use), and an outdoor area of food stalls.

It's worth noting two things: one, Husband was on a business trip and couldn't go (we were both disappointed). Two, it was freeing to know that I was going to a club where I did not fit the targeted demographic and didn't have to keep my guard up against overly enthusiastic flirtation. Especially considering the first point.

We were a group of eight people, equally split between men and women, equally split between couples and singles.

We expected the atmosphere to be pretty aggressive. One guy (who was obligated to go because his girlfriend was going) expressed his concern that because of how he looks (tall, thin, and blond), he might get raped. He was halfway joking (I think), but I told him that's how women feel all the time, and he didn't really have a response.


We also expected to see a lot of outrageous, flamboyant gayness. You know, the kind of costuming I saw at Tokyo Rainbow Pride. Drag queens, sequins, strippers, Village People, ostrich feathers, the works.


And to a degree, those expectations were met. There were strippers on tables in the main dance area, one of the women's restrooms had been converted into "The Dark Room," where you go if you're feeling...um...lonely, and there was a brief dance performance at the pool area by what I assume are Professional Gay Men, because they clearly adhered to a strict diet and exercise regimen. But for each dancer or onsie made of neon spandex, there were fifty or a hundred regular-looking guys that were just having a great time flirting with each other and dancing with their partners, for once not having to hide who they are.

Oh, and the drinks were great. I don't know if they had a special menu that night or not, but the cherry blossom cocktail is delicious. Little to no alcohol, but delicious.

At 5am when the trains started running again, we headed back to the station. Goody bags on the way out of the club included a respectable stack of flyers for upcoming gay events. Husband may have been out of town, but I got him a souvenir!

Florida Adventures

From Singapore we went to Hong Kong, and from there we went on to Orlando. First we spent a few days with family, then a few more days in the Keys to do some scuba diving.

I'm still not comfortable enough with diving to divide my attention by bringing a camera, but they were some nice dives. One day we even had an opportunity to use our (still very limited) Japanese to help translate the dive briefings to a Japanese diver with limited English. I'm not gonna lie, there was a good deal of miming, but we did all right.


Through the Florida Keys, there is one major road. Just one.

Along that road, in front of a small artist colony, is a giant lobster.

Now, when I say "giant lobster," you might think very politely to yourself, "my goodness, that is quite a large lobster!"

No, no. It's bigger than you think it is. Here is a picture of me in front of it:

I bet you just said, "Wow!" out loud.

 It's really quite well done, and there is an impressive amount of detail.

 The craziest part is that it's actually possible to drive right by it without seeing it, even though it's about 40 feet from the highway and not behind any trees.


Another noteworthy roadside attraction is a little place called Key Lime Products. It's run by a friendly gentleman who is happy to chat. But the billboard across the street is a little creepy.

Really? You don't think the 69 cent flooring is laying it on a little thick?

On our way north from the Keys, we spent a day in Miami.

Strolling along Miami Beach 

Someone was feeding the seagulls, and they hovered so still in the air that they looked as though they had been carefully placed on a mobile in a child's bedroom.

The club/shopping district was its own kind of fabulous animal. I'm not sure I've ever seen so many people strutting around like peacocks, both men and women. So much posturing! Chests out, butts out, tight clothing, expensive cars, loud music...I'm pretty sure stereotypes are made in this kind of environment. And at least three kinds of reality TV shows. We stopped for a drink at an outdoor cafe, half a block too far away from the drag queen show to be able to see it. All we got were glimpses of ostrich feathers and sequins. Sad face.

We were traveling with a friend that had never seen an alligator in real life, so we stopped at a place that has them in enclosures and does air boat tours (there are several along that stretch of road, unfortunately I can't figure out which one it was).

They are serious about their safety precautions, too! How's this for a "do not put your fingers in the cages, dumbass" sign?

Also, juxtaposition is amusing. You might want to click this one for the full size to see why I think this is so funny.

Of course we had to stay for the gator show.

You gotta keep that sun off your face, or your skin will get all leathery.

I held a baby alligator once, but it hadn't been the size of a dog. These suckers are heavy! Also, not as amused as I am.

Next up: more adventures, back in Tokyo!